My name is Nayonika. I’m a 21 year old idiot who happens to love writing, singing, reading, eating and marathon-watching gossip shows.
This blog started out of the innate restlessness that was in me to share my thoughts, my opinions and my interests to everyone of you who might relate to me, like my work, or simply even want to give me a bit of your world as well!
So I hope you enjoy as we go along creating new experiences in this blog, all accompanied by good classical music and plenty of doughnuts to fund our sugar highs.
So I dabble a bit in music too, and one of my other loves is making covers. I used to make covers before but college happened, so I was not able to devote as much time to it. So I’ve decided to go back to making and uploading covers, starting with a song which refused to get out of my head.
I would really love if you could check out my cover of Shape of You (Ed Sheeran) and leave your feedback!
YouTube – https://youtu.be/N-gvuoY46Go
SoundCloud – https://soundcloud.com/n-ion-sen/ed-sheeran-shape-of-you-cover-by-nayonika
Thanks for taking the time!❤
I wasn’t born to be the disguised name,
In your contact list, or the last call of the day
Your late night guilty pleasure, your “just a friend”,
Rubber heart for you to play
I wasn’t born to be your 15th February,
Blank eyes and snide smirks in reply to my fears about “our future”,
The supporting actress (what a pity!)
Rosy lies to keep me in an impuissant stupor
I wasn’t born to be the weeping mess, lying at your feet at 6 in the morning,
My own delusions begging for an explanation,
Scared silly of losing you, blind enough to unsee
That the storms of my pain never received any placation
In all gullible affirmation, I thought I was participating
In a contest, and you were the gold
A punch too many to the heart made me realize
Trophies aren’t black like your soul
One day, when your daughter will come crying home,
Because some boy broke her heart ; the pain in her voice
Will remind you of me, and you will finally see
I wasn’t born to be your “second choice”.
Pretty girl, one of a kind
Give me your hand, let me read your mind
Your moonlit eyes are reading into my soul
Give me all your loving, never leave me alone
Pretty girl, you know your light
Is way too bright, drenched in delight
You pave your way out of stars
You have raging oceans in your heart
Pretty girl, you think that honey mouth
Can hide your fire, tell me what it’s all about
I could spend my days, listening to your fairytales
I could lie here forever, wide awake
Pretty girl, what goes around comes around
Be a good little girl, don’t you run around
You are a soldier, you’ll only get bolder
Know your worth, never let the dust settle on the ground
She was not the storm
She was not the fire
She was just a woman
Breathing love and desire
Her body spoke of dreams
Her eyes brimmed with fantasies
Her heart was a vast labyrinth
Of uncharted galaxies
He was a predator, all his eyes could see
Was the guiless creature of pure mystery
He held the knowledge that a single strike to the heart
Would ensure her eternal captivity
So he raised his arms, strung his bow
Released the treacherous poisoned arrow
Aimed straight at her heart, it caught her unawares
Alas! She could now never be saved
Full of glee, he caught her by her very soul
Passed the days, intoxicated by her love
For him, it was the eternal high
As he watcher her wither and slowly die
She was but chaste, she believed he loved her too
She clung to him, oh but little did she knew
He would only stay till she had nothing left to give
She loved him harder than the stars had planned, oblivious to his motive
She let him chart her galaxies, fulfilled his fantasies
Gave him the high he craved
Whispers in her ear urged her to leave him
But still, every tempest she braved
For in her heart, he was her world
Her little dreams naive
Her core was shook, then, when the day arrived
And he prepared on taking his leave
He left with a look on his face that spoke of disgust
As if she had done something wrong
When all she did was strive to shower
Him with love and passion all along
He took care not to look back even once
Not even at her tear-stricken eyes
It began to dawn on her, the false promises he had made
And all the blasphemous lies
She was left all alone, with her broken dreams and heavy regrets
And eyes that no longer shone
Her lips no longer smiled, her voice no longer chirped
She let the torrent of grief wash over
She believed the fault was all her own
She promised herself, then and there
Her heart would soon be rid of this stinging pain
A bullet to the head, a note left to be read
She made sure her heart would never love again.
How deep is your love?
Will you hold me in your arms,
When my demons take hold of me?
Will you touch those fragments of my soul
That I’ve always been too scared to reveal?
Will you let me blush a little
When you whisper stupid things in my ear?
Will you fill my heart with trust,
And leave no room for fear?
Or will you raise your eyebrows in judgement,
When I wear a revealing dress?
Will you question my every decision,
And make me feel like I’m making a mess?
Will I find messages to your ex-girlfriend,
Hidden in your phone?
Will you go running back to her if she calls,
Will you leave me here all alone?
Will you sleep with your back to me
Facing the wall?
When the tears are flowing, heart is burning,
And I demand an explanation of it all?
Will you take every measure possible
To show me how unwanted I am?
Will you dispose of me, forget about me
Will you really not give a damn?
So tell me if your intentions are true,
I’ll let my heart open up to you,
I’ll let you explore my mind, every curve,
If you tell me how deep is your love.
I’ve forgotten what it feels like
To breathe free
Every hour punctuated by routine
Plans and schedules
Instead of hopes and dreams
Meetings and conversations
Where an exchange of fantasies should be
A world too big for recognition
You’ll find me in my planet of my own identity
Protocol is good and fine
But for once let’s be each other’s insanity
Hi, nice to meet you
My soul honors your soul
Oh, is there where you keep your secrets?
I’d love to know them all
I don’t want to know where you work, what you do
Tell me about the time
When you built sand castles and played by the sea
About the things that make you smile
Tell me, about how your heart races
Because you’re scared of the dark
How you and your friends would be out at night
Under the trees, counting stars
I know you’ve achieved things in life
But tell me about the dreams that didn’t quite make it
Those decaying paintings, those hung up boxing gloves
In those ballet costumes that now don’t quite fit
Tell me about your first heartbreak
I’ll tell you about mine
Let’s fly away with the waning moon
Let’s dance to this cosmic rhythm divine
I don’t care about this heavenly human paint
God painted us with; it’s for the soul I crave
So let me in on all your secrets
Don’t worry they’re safe with me
Become my cherished novel tonight
The one I love to read.
I don’t like what they call me,
So frivolous a word can hardly explain
All your profile pictures saved in my phone,
All the hoardes of unanswered texts
Nursing feeble hopes,
The reeking desperation in the calls
Made to your friends,
Searching for traces of me in your Facebook posts
For days on end.
Liking all of your photos on Instagram,
Just to make sure you notice me,
And before I realise, I’ve been “blocked”
Oh – that’s a word I’ve come to hate lately!
When my online voyages fail
To carry me to my destination,
The physical world awaits the commencement
Of my second test of relentless patience.
All those hours of waiting outside your house,
Do not, and will never, bother me
If it means I will get to glance upon your face,
For a minute, or two, or three.
My mama says “You’re a gem, darling,
“That dumb boy don’t deserve you”
I wish she could peep inside my heart,
She’d call me “obsessed” too.
Not a new thing is this, I’ve been burning with desire for years,
Ever since my mind can recall
Confessing my secrets to him, however, is a forbidden risk,
I know a heartbreak would be my Heaven’s call.
So now that you know what an incapacitating intoxication
Is this love that I really possess;
Tell me, can the storms of my heart’s yearning
And this reverential adoration,
Be trivialised by the word “obsessed”?